Tag: #family

Creating new Family Traditions…Weekend Breakfast
Alliyah Dawud
April 22, 2019

I’ll be the first to admit that during the week my breakfast routine is ‘get in town your neck’. My breakfast is usually high in protein (boiled eggs with zataar for example). I also keep it low carb and low sugar.

The same applies to my children; except they have low sugar cereals, Porridge (made in the microwave) or wholemeal toast.

However we do like the idea of a longer, more lazy breakfast with more variety. So we have developed a bit of a family tradition on Saturdays.

We all get up around the same time as weekdays (an extra 30 minutes to an hour is a good way of catching up on some extra sleep) however we all have a cooked breakfast. It doesn’t have to be the full monty (eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, hash browns, beans etc) but it’s usually cooked.

It doesn’t take me ages to cook breakfast because I do the following:

I use frozen hash browns that I air fry

I use frozen sausages that again I air fry

Fried eggs take no time at all; if the girls want omelettes we stick to omelettes and hash browns and beans.

I don’t make fresh juice; I leave my desire for fresh juice for when I am on holiday

I take items out of the freezer the night before and defrost them in the fridge overnight-then pop them in the air fryer in the morning.

We all like bit of bacon (which we do fry) and that takes a matter of minutes to cook. Any leftovers get added to mac and cheese.

If you do like mushrooms you can actually buy sliced mushrooms frozen.

The girls rarely like smoothies on Saturdays but if they do want one it’s simple to create as I have frozen fruit, frozen yogurt cubes etc at hand.

I have a menu that I have on display in the kitchen for Saturdays. We like to make things special. I keep all the ingredients on hand for all the menu options.

My menu includes:
The full monty
Mini monty
Omelettes
Cloud Eggs
Egg Muffin
Eggy bread
Fluffy pancakes (optional: serve with bacon & syrup)
Egg, cheese and bacon muffin
Spinach, egg and hash brown tortilla wraps (prepared, cooked and frozen. All I do is defrost, warm and go).
Sausage sandwich
Sausage muffin
Smoothies
Smoothie Bowls
Sugary cereals (frosties/cocopops etc).
Nutella Porridge (it’s a treat due to high sugar content).
Parathas and eggs (the best of desi breakfasts!)
Breakfast specials (on Eids etc such as Breakfast quesadillas, breakfast casseroles, sheer khurma).

Drink wise:
OJ
Tea
Green tea
Desi Chai

I make breakfast whilst the girls usually watch a bit of morning TV however they do try to help with certain options.

We then enjoy breakfast together. In Summer we usually have breakfast in the garden and make the most of the season. The girls then play in the garden whilst I clear up and do any washing required.

We all eat which makes this tradition of ours easy to keep up.

If we have to be somewhere early I narrow down the options for the girls the night before and prepare as much as possible in advance. Very rarely have we had to have cereal and run out of the door. I’m a planner; so try to keep on top of things.

And as someone that meal plans my freezer is always stocked with essentials; which makes life so much more easier.

My aim with lazy Saturday breakfasts is to create memories for the girls plus I hope they’ll find the time in their busy lives when they have their own families to sit down and eat together at the end of the week and reflect on things. It’s like date night, but at breakfast and all the family are invited. It also helps set the tone of our weekends (Which I try to focus on family friendly activities which both girls can take part in). I believe it’s important to lead by example and putting in an effort so we all sit together and eat together is setting an example of the importance of family and appreciation (gratitude) of what we do have.

I would love to keep this tradition going when the girls are teenagers; but who knows what the future will bring.

In the meantime though I’ll carrying on waiting for the girls to decide on what they want to eat (only to pick what they had the past 9 Saturdays on the row).

Letter to a younger me.
Alliyah Dawud
March 25, 2019

Well younger me. Boy did we sacrifice life for all the wrong reasons. If someone really cared for you they seriously wouldn’t put conditions on their love, care and time. You would be FREE to live life that made you happy. Just because it made you happy didn’t make it anti-Islamic.

Just because you were more ‘coconut’ than standard British Pakistani did not make you a bad person and you certainly did not need to marry someone and become a housewife to prove you were raised right and that you were SUCCESSFUL.

Being married does not equate to SUCCESS. Being married to someone from the same culture, tribe etc as you does not mean a single thing in the larger scheme of things. Becoming a housewife with a degree IS a waste of your education when you are unable to pass on any wisdom to your children because they are restricted by the same cultural garbage that caused you to walk the plank.

You can be a good Muslim and not worship culture and ‘family’ or ‘tribe’. We worship GOD. No ifs or buts baby. But when you are 21 and your family make it clear that if you don’t bow down the ramifications will be too much for you to watch you go ahead and park up your hopes, aspirations and dreams of being the change you know you are fully able to manifest.

Marrying someone based on a family match means nothing. You don’t love them you cannot FORCE yourself to love them. You will die on a daily basis pretending life is all roses when you sleep on a bed of thorns, nettles and lies.

Marrying someone because you LOVE them and you WANT TO BE WITH THEM does not make you a BAD MUSLIM. It makes you human. You honestly think the same God that put those feelings in your heart will judge you for developing them into a relationship that would grow to bigger and better?

What makes you think those family members love you that believed a mismatched spouse was suitable simply due to DNA? Have you noticed how the same people stayed quiet when life became unsavory? Did you notice how when things got hard they then told you to ‘pray to God’ the same God you literally turned you back to so you could walk the path of culture and family?

Don’t turn your back on your religion, your self belief on YOU. Changing to accommodate the thought processes of others will kill you (Heart Attack at 31). You are not a computer; why should you process garbage that needs to be sent to the recycling bin and deleted permantely?

You have every right to be you and be happy. Others happiness does not equate to you being unhappy. Real love from anyone means it’s unconditional. If family was only happy when you were unhappy what lesson is that for your daughters? You are not a lamb that needs to be sacrificed. You have rights to be happy, be loved and love back without conditions.

Your personality does not need ‘adjusting’. Just because you don’t believe in lying to people to make them feel good does not mean you are rude. It means you are real.

OMG you are not ugly. For real. People have stuff injected into their lips to make them fuller. Your eyes are big. But eyes are the doors to the soul. Wearing glasses is fine; it doesn’t represent a disability and even if it did that’s Gods plan not yours.

You don’t need £1000s of cosmetics and creams to make you ‘pretty’. And damn girl you look good for your age. You have good genes. Some people are just jealous and will grind you down with themselves to make you feel bad and themselves feel better. Hold your head up high baby. You pull off red lipstick like no other.

You are NOT fat. Asian clothes some in matchstick sizes. Ain’t it funny the same people that critisised you for purchasing ‘labelled’ clothing now dress like you?

You are not a failure. You are not a ‘unsuitable wife’. It’s the warped way of thinking that is wrong. No one is born with a manual on life. Just because you want to be happy, go on holidays, see the world, have a career does not make you a bad individual.

And the fact you are struggling with PND, looking after your little one and keeping a clean home like those perfect Asian housewives does not make you a bad woman. Please stop torturing yourself. Its not worth the pain. What’s important is your child’s growth and health. A clean home would be a nice thing but it doesn’t equate to success.

And no, wearing jeans and western clothes does not make you a whore. It makes those that spread that propaganda as backwards and illeterate. A whore is someone that has no morals or standards in general and jumps anything that moves. Jeez. Is it really that hard to tell the difference?

And no red lipstick does not make you a SLUT either. That’s what society will have you believe because a confidence woman is a dangerous woman that would take crap from a so-called weak ass man.

Just because you are friendly it does not make you a hoe. Just because people say stuff doesn’t make it true. TALK IS CHEAP. Talk is free. Actions Alliyah! Actions. You need to monitor actions.

You do not need to be RETRAINED to be a member of any society. When the right person comes into your life yes you’ll both adjust to each other but it won’t be painful and you certainly won’t ‘hate’ yourself for the changes you are making.

Go live your life. Leave the UK. Become the woman you wished was in your life when you were a little girl. Be a fierce kick ass hijabi that is Muslim before anything else. Be happy. Love openly. Don’t surpress yourself so much that your health is damaged. Your personality is a blessing. Don’t change for anyone. Family isn’t always it’s cracked up to be. But if you stay true to yourself you will learn you don’t need anyone but you. Because if you trust in God and hold the vision and trust the process things will be so awesome your life will be magical. Just don’t give up baby girl. Get ready because we’ve started again; and this time it’s about YOU.

Gratitude for Life
Alliyah Dawud
March 4, 2019

Note: this article was written on the day my daughter was discharged. It is being published after.

I am writing this is a state of pure thankfulness. Today my 5 year old has been given the all clear from Hospital.

My youngest was born with a Heart Murmur. I knew before she was born that she had a Heart defect and it was a dark dark time in my life. At the time my marriage was ending and I felt alone. The darkness lead to a lot of self discovery so even though it wasn’t the most memorable time of my life I am grateful for what I felt and what it led to.

Still I soldiered on as Mamas do and when Hiffy was born she looked normal. Smelt normal. Acted normal. I just assumed the Heart thing would pan out. I was grateful for having what looked and felt like a healthy baby. She opened her eyes and I’ve got to say it was love at first sight. I guess at the time I didn’t know this little person would become my doppelganger but I felt it was even more important to me to protect her and give her the best of everything. She is perfect. And always will be.

For a lot of babies a hole in the Heart ‘fixes’ itself. The human body is a bloody amazing thing! However in some cases human intervention is needed via an operation.

I was given the news that Hiffy would need surgery as she neared her first Birthday. It was a hard piece of truth of hear. Sadly my daughters specialist passed away from a Heart problem which resulted in her Heart Surgery (Key hole surgery) being delayed and transferred to another Hospital.

In October 2014 my daughter was operated on in one of the best Hospitals in the world; Birmingham Children’s Hospital. Maybe it’s the fact it’s my hometown but I felt there was no better place for my little one to be treated.

Once the procedure was done we were free to return home. We went in on the morning of the operation and discharged the same day.

That’s how awesome modern day medicine and science is. We’re blessed. The NHS is an awesome organisation. We focus on their bad side but what about the GOOD they achieve? What about the staff that does more than their job calls for? What about those midwives that stay on after their shifts to deliver a baby because they’ve bonded with the Mama?

The Cardiac Specialist told me that Hiffy would be no different to any other child so I shouldn’t treat her any different to her sibling.

That was back in 2014. Recently I received a letter asking for Hiffy to attend a clinic for a check up. Firstly four years in a huge amount of time. Secondly Hiffy understands she was born with a ‘dodgy ticker’. Explaining to her we were attending a check up freaked her out.

On the day of the check up we went about business in the normal way. I must have lost a few nights sleep wondering about the ‘what if’ but then remembered that at each and every step of Hiffys life I’ve been eternally grateful for everything. Her improving health. Her milestones. Her epic personality. Her sparkling smile. Her memorising eyes. Her quirky ways. I am eternally grateful for it all. And when you are in a state of gratitude you ATTRACT more to be grateful for.

When we attended the appointment I must admit I just painted on a brave face because the last thing you want a 5 year old to detect is you are slightly fearful of what the Specialist might say.

The staff were simply awesome with Hiffy. They offered to change the DVD for her (after she mentioned she hadn’t watched Peppa in a long time because she’s FIVE) and the Specialist (who just so happened to be from the great Birmingham Children’s Hospital) complimented Hiffy on her good behaviour and manners.

The tests instantly showed what I knew deep down was the truth: Hiffy has a strong and healthy Heart. Her ticker has mended to the best of it’s ability. It’s supporting her to be the awesome spirit that she is.

And after her tests the Specialist gave me the news that he was discharging Hiffy from the Cardiac department. He said she’s just like anyone else who was born with no problem. He reassured me that if I ever felt something was wrong their doors were open; but as it stood Hiffy is happy, healthy and just like the normal five year old. He also said I could treat her like a normal kid.

Isn’t that what I’ve been doing for the past 5 years?

And with the information Hiffy asked if she could be rewarded with a BIG chocolate for her good behaviour and the fact her ticker is fixed. Not today kiddo but yeah; Mama can stretch to giving you a BIG bar of chocolate tomorrow; because my gratitude for you as my child is never ending Hiffy.

I can now sleep easy knowing Hiffy is well, I didn’t do anything wrong for her to be born with a Heart defect and that the NHS are an awesome organisation that need to be given more credit.

Gratitude is attitude; and my attitude is I’m thankful eternally for my blessing that is my pint sized doppelganger.

Get out into the fresh air. A mini review of Victoria Park (Stafford)
Alliyah Dawud
March 2, 2019

There’s a few hidden gems across the West Midlands and one of them is in my opinion Victoria Park in Stafford. This beautiful award winning Park can be found in the heart of Stafford (opposite the Train Station) on the banks of the River Sow. The Park has received lottery Heritage funding and is currently undergoing some magnificent restoration to a bygone era.

And as the weather warms up I want to encourage you all to get out more, get more fresh air and reap the benefits of exercise. Not to mention children need sunshine, fresh air and a space to let off steam. What better place than a Park?

We are currently located in Stoke-on-Trent which is a short drive to the Park but to make this into an adventure we go by Train…because the Park is literally opposite the Park and the girls think we’re travelling far and wide (When it’s like 15 minutes away). Plus when you use the Train there’s no need to find Parking; which is awesome.

I love Parks; they are the perfect venue for play dates or inviting the whole group to have a Picnic, play some games and generally accommodate a large brood without worrying about space.

Victoria Park has a lot to offer. It’s easy to spend hours in this Park. We travelled by Train (all a part of the adventure). The Park first opened it’s gates in 1908 making it one of the oldest around (that is still in full use).

The Park boasts some great floral displays around the Park making it very picturesque The River Sow snakes through the Park providing many banks to sit down and relax on. As with any water you do need to watch little ones; and ensure they understand the dangers. The well maintained grounds provide many places to have a picnic around the park (we sat next to the River and nope it did not stink even in the height of summer).

If you forget to pack a picnic or snacks there’s plenty of shops nearby (including coffee shops) so you won’t struggle too much to find reasonable priced food or drinks.

There’s a huge play area for children of various ages to enjoy. There’s swings, group swings, trampolines, toddler play area, roundabouts, huge climbing frames….everything is well kept and in pristine condition. Both girls loved it.

And there’s a huge sand play area that the youngest in particular loves (just remember to pack some buckets and spades!).

The Park has toilets on site too which is a blessing especially for anyone with youngest children. There’s also an ice-cream van on site which helps in the heat.

For the hotter months there’s a brilliant Splash Pad for children to enjoy (it’s worth packing swimming costumes for this or at least a spare t-shirt to change little ones into if they get too wet).

The Park can get busy but that adds to the atmosphere. We ran into a Grandparent that used to visit with her Granddad. She’d moved away when she got married but her son relocated due to work and she was reliving her childhood through her grand babies.

We spent approximately 4 hours at the Park which is unbelievable as my youngest gets bored very quickly. It’s a stunning Park and I recommend it for families, couples, elderly….everyone! This is such a beautiful Park it would be nice to visit in each season to view the changes.

My top tips:

Pack a picnic and picnic blankets as it would be a shame to miss the opportunity to not eat in this glorious Park
Pack SPF and swimming costumes (or spare clothes) for the Splash Pad.

Don’t forget a towel to dry off!

Don’t forget some food for the ducks.

Talcum powder will help get sand off children’s skin so it’s worth taking a small bottle if you have one.

Buckets and spades (labeled with your little ones name) would be useful if your little one like playing with sand.

Don’t forget wet wipes. Always useful especially where there’s ice-cream…

And lastly, take a stroll along the River…whilst eating an ice-cream.