Tag: life

Why you need to set your Goals and Intentions for 2019 NOW
Stylemesisteradmin
December 3, 2018

Why you need to set your goals for 2019 NOW

If I said to you that if you set your goals and intentions on the 1st of January 2019 you would be more likely to fail you would accuse me of setting negative intentions and sending out negative vibes into the universe thus actually causing the failure in the first place.

  • The truth is that if you sit down on the 1st of January you are more likely to:
  • Set general goals rather than be specific to what your real needs are
  • You will set the same goals as last year
  • Your friends and family will be more influence as everyone is talking goals
  • You won’t put enough effort into plans and are more likely to fail due to that

And the list goes on.

To set goals and intentions that you can actually achieve you need to actually work out many different elements.

To get you going here are questions I ask clients:

  • What is the outcome you want to achieve?
  • Why do you want to achieve this?
  • How much time do you realistically have over the 12 months to achieve this?
  • Can you afford to reach this goal?
  • Is your goal realistic?

I then get them to write out their goal.

And then BREAK IT DOWN.

Here’s an example.

Let’s say Sara wants to open up her own Bakery.
She wants to open it as she already bakes from home so this is progression.
She has £10,000 investment available from family.

That’s all awesome.

  • What Sara needs to start with is:
  • Where is there a demand for a bakery in her area.
  • How many sales does she need to make to actually make this a realistic business venture?
  • How much can she expect to pay in rent?
  • What are the bills like?
  • What is her current cash flow like with business.
  • Whilst she’s working on opening her business can she afford to hire someone to run the home business?

What costs can she expect in kiting out the shop?

As you can see Sara needs to do a LOT OF RESEARCH. In my opinion it’s the most important stage that can make or break a business idea.

As Sara works she needs to fit this in around her business hours.

Once she blocks out her work time, family time and other commitments she’ll know how much time she has to actually carry out the research (and also see if she has enough capacity to do this during the actual year or will she need to consider a 18 month plan).

Once she knows this she can break down what she needs to research and slot it into her calendar and tick off each task.

Steadily Sara will see her tasks go down and she’ll progress steadily towards her goal.

But if Sara sets a general goal and just writes down “my goal is to set up a bakery in 2019” she wouldn’t know where to start. She’s literally setting herself up to fail and come end of 2019 she’ll be setting the same goal and potentially repeating the same mistakes.

So what do you need to do today?

  • Sit down and think about what you have achieved this year and what you set out to actually do during the year. Consider which of these goals you want to set for 2019 (if there are any).
  • Break down the goal considering the time you have to achieve it (be realistic so you have more of a chance of achieving the goal).
  • Put dates in your diary.
  • Schedule ‘check ups’ during the year on your goal. I suggest once every 3 months. That was if you are behind schedule you can either look at catching up or potentially moving dates around to accommodate this. Either way we are looking at increasing your chances of successfully completing your goals.

It seems like a lot of work to do however this method increases your control on the goal achieving process and also will increase your confidence with goal setting as your success rate too.

And once you’ve done that you can sit back and watch others set out goals with no structure on the 1st of January 2019 and watch a lot of them give up by 1st of February.

What are your goals and intentions for 2019? Share them below.

How to create a Master To Do List
Alliyah Dawud
October 24, 2017

How to create and manage a Master To Do List

That endless to do list. It gets under your skin. You feel like you are constantly trying to fight the need to do things and little gets done. Urgh. And every week just as you think you can cut something off the list you need to add another nine. Oh dear. Life is like this. It’s a mountain of tasks that never seem to get completed.

We see all this posts of organised women showing us beautifully crafted completed lists (on equally pretty notepaper). We cry into our soggy cereal with our so-called waterproof mascara running down our full foundation faces.

So really apart from selling your kidney and paying a temporary PA to come and work for you is there any real way of combating the To Do List dilemma of the 21st century lifestyle?

You betch’ya!

Really? And you don’t have to research the dark market and sell your organs either! Yay!

Welcome to the world of Master Lists. A Master List is simply but a list of tasks you need to complete. They could be tasks such as ordering wallpaper, getting someone to fix the driveway gate, order Birthday cards….everything you need to do. You put these all on a list that is designed to be a running list. In other words you won’t ever complete the list in your lifetime. Scary thought but it’s being realistic. We all have responsiblities and our tasks are always being added to. So this list is basically the list that will help you create weekly more manageable lists you will be completing.
So this list holds all the tasks you need to do, with an ideal projected date that you want the task completed by.

My list also has additional notes on it. E.g. I usually buy presents throughout the year so I record the location of items in the book. You could also colour code things to make things more organised. This is about making your life easier so modify it to reflect this.

So what do you need?

The ideal list is below:

2X notebooks/jotters/list making notepads (I use an A5 notebook to create my Master list and a smaller one for my weekly list)
NOTE: If you are self employed and wish to create a list for work too double the supplies.

Additional notepad to make notes etc/Sticky notes

Writing supplies

Your diary, calendar, or other time planning methods you use to plan your time.

PATIENCE

At least half an hour to get going (this is an on going project)

Getting started:

1)So you are serious about tackling this. Hurrah! First thing is first. Write down everything you need to do. Like literally. If you are creating a master list for work and home life you’ll need to write them down on the appropriate notebook/paper.

2) Now go through the lists. Is there anything on the lists that doesn’t belong there? Anything that needs doing immedately e.g. booking Hospital appointments or buying Grandmas birthday card and flowers for next week need to be put on an immediate list (you won’t be needing this once you get into the Master to do list system but to get you going you’ll need it). Is there something on your list that is on there because someone else is shying away from their responsiblity? Now is the time to delegate that task. Reducing the tasks will help you on the next step.

3) Now draw two lines down the page of your notebook that will be your Master List. Leave a large column to write the task. You need an additional column to record the date of when you wish to complete the task by and the final column is for ticking off the task.

4) Transfer your tasks to the Master to do list. That’s everything! EVERY.little.thing.

5) Now look at your schedule for next week. How’s it looking? How much time do you realistically have? Got a number? Great. Now comes the big part….

6) Look at your Master to do list. Look for tasks that can be completed in the time you have available and write these tasks on your WEEKLY to do list.
By understanding how much time you have and not over stretching yourself you are reducing the chances of failure and increasing the chances of things getting down.

7) By the end of the week you should have completed your weekly to do list. Tick off anything you’ve completed. Anything that hasn’t been completed can either be re-added to the Master to do list or to the follow weeks list.

8) At the beginning of the week (or on the day you do your weekly planning) create next weeks list.
NOTE: you’ll also be adding things to your Master list. RELAX. This is the idea. The Master List is continiously updated. The idea isn’t to complete everything it’s to be in control and understand what needs doing.
Your weekly list (that you’ve created from your Master List) is the list that will be completed on a weekly basis. This list helps you chart your progress too and gives you a sense of goal completion.

9) Repeat the above steps until it becomes habit or you find another system that suits you better.

Additional notes:

This system can work equally well for couples and families. If you are creating a master list for families you can create weekly lists for family members too.

If you’ve been living in an ocean of incompleted to do lists for as long as you can remember don’t panic if it takes a while to do used to this system. Keep it up for a month and evaluate if it works for you.

Any comments or question; let me know.

 

Why I MEDITATE
Alliyah Dawud
October 13, 2017

Why I meditate

Say meditation to someone who has seen the portrayal of it in mainstream media and I bet most folk will ask you about your hippy life. They’ll expect you to be vegan animal right campaigner that sleep on rocks because you could never possibly sleep on a wooden frame because trees lost their lives to give humans creature comforts.

So stereotyping aside meditation is a highly powerful tool. I know for many Muslims the idea of meditating isn’t a concept they want to look at or consider as it feels more in line with the Hindu faith than Islam. However the concept of sitting down, clearing your mind and focusing is quite Islamic. The idea we need to sit down and fix our thoughts to get the maximum out of our lives shouldn’t really be alien to anyone. The fast pace of life today means we all look for a release and ways of maintaining our sanity and being able to focus on our goals and missions in life. Too much mental junk clutters up the thought process leaving us pushing walls that shouldn’t be our brains. We should be able to prioritise mentally what is important to us and focus on it. Pray about it. Meditate on it manifesting. Being clear is how we ideally would want things to happen/unfold. But if your brain is like a super highway with all the lanes rammed with traffic you won’t be manifesting much soon.

I got into meditating when my life took a few unplanned changes. I got back on the horse and needed quality guidance. I also wanted to be able to hear my mind. Process what was happening and make decisions based on the facts and with clarity.

Do you need any special equipment to meditate?

In my opinion NO. If you wish to use guided meditation on your phone I suggest you use headphones. Most phones come with a pair or you can pick up a cheap pair on certain websites these days. I use ‘tracks’ off YouTube for guided meditation or I’ll look up background tracks for meditating too. You can purchase these yes. But with YouTube around it’s not a requirement to be able to get into meditation.

I don’t dress a certain way to meditate. You may want to be comfortable though especially if you plan to meditate for longer than say 15 minutes.

Although this isn’t essential to meditate I have been known for cleansing the room, airing it out and burning incense (oudh). I like the idea of a clean space to concentrate. This isn’t essential like I side. I’ve just put it out there as I know some people pick up habits along the way and feel they need approval to do them. I never sought any approval from anyone on this issue.

And if I’m sitting on the floor I will sit on my yoga mat or on my meditating stool (which I only purchased after I started spending hours in meditative state).

So how do I meditate?

I meditate in several ways depending on my daily needs. I try to meditate at least 20 minutes a day. Why? I find clarity of my missions for the day soothing. I don’t feel panicked by my tasks. I can take them in my stride. It’s as simple as that. I also find gratitude easier to express when my mind is clear of all the noise.

Guided meditation tracks (YouTube)
The idea behind this is a voice will guide you through the session helping you breathe and ponder on the situation at hand. I love guided meditation tracks because there are lots on specific subject areas such as recovering from bad relationships, healing, health etc. So for a beginner these are fantastic.

Meditating in silence
I use my meditating stool if I feel I will be meditating for a long period of time. Otherwise I sit on my bed (legs crossed) eyes closed deep breaths contemplating/musing/reflecting over matters that concern me. I keep a notepad close by as sometimes I meditate on specific issues and when I finish meditating thoughts/answers come into my head so rather than lose that feeling I keep it by jotting it down.

Meditating with candles/incense/creating a mood
Now this will conjure up images of yoga studios and sandalwood burning for many. For me it’s more of a case of if I’m struggling with something (say a project) then I may need to get into the zone to meditate and fix the issue. So I will light candles to focus and drown out the outside world. I use incense to create ambiance (I use a lot of oudh/sandalwood/sage). I will then meditate in silence or play background tracks of birds/rivers/whatever I feel the desire too.

Meditating & Dhikr

*I do prepare for Dhikr by cleansing myself. For more information you can google Islam and cleanliness for praying*.

Dikr is the remembrance of Allah via short sentences/the names of Allah we recite using on occasion tasbih (like rosary beads). It’s a devotional act in Islam. Now I’m not here to debate if this is an act created by the Sufi sect or someone else. I sit there in silence reciting the names of Allah (one of the 99). I find the actual act of Dhikr is meditation for me. It’s focusing on what my problem is or if I’m doing it as gratitude I am taking part in the devotion to express that. So sitting there focusing on my goal whilst reciting short sentences that glorify the almighty help me not only focus but feel good and help me feel grounded.
I sometimes spend time in silence meditating before I start Dhikr to clear my mind and gain positive focus.

Meditating before praying
I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer. I’m also a believer that a prayer should be said with clear intentions and focus. So to me meditating before praying is a natural step. You clear the mind, and when you say your prayers and essentially talk to God it’s done in a clear, concise manner that is focused on the prayer. Outside noise is ‘blocked’ as you concentrate on the important subject at hand.

I’ve used meditation to control stress and even as pain relief (I had severe shoulder pain due to stress and my GP was unable to prescribe anything for it so I tried meditating which helped cure the pain and helped me gain control over the stress. The stress was relieved too). On a daily basis it’s more for clarity and focus and guidance on all aspects on life.

As I’ve mentioned before as life is fast paced with a lot going on it’s easier for thoughts to get lost and become unclear. Prayers are sometimes said with less focus. The mind to me in the processing centre of your body. Your spirit. Your being. Look at it like this. If your laptop slowed down wouldn’t you get it checked out for viruses and have it given a once over to check out what the issue is? Your mind needs the exact same level of care (if not more). You need to clear out negativity, the bad vibes. Leftover clutter from things that no longer matter. The feelings that are being harboured that are creating mental blocks that stop you moving forward.

So if your brain is slowing down and you having less clarity declutter. Take a brain dump. Write lists. Pray. Dhikr. Meditate. Give yourself the time you deserve for a healthier mind. Don’t let modern day processes slow down the most important piece of equipment you own; your mind.

How to BRAIN DUMP
Alliyah Dawud
October 11, 2017

Decluttering your BRAIN aka having a Brain dump

Okay so vulgar name aside if you are anything like me and have hundreds of thoughts going on in your head this could be your knight in glamourous shining armour (if you need saving that is).

So the idea behind a brain dump is to get back to basics and translate everything buzzing around in your head onto paper. In a world run by technology we are pretty much getting back to basics.

So what you do is you take a piece of paper (I use A4) and set a stop clock to give me 15 minutes. I then ignore the world an and write down everything that pops into mind. The theory is that if it’s popping into your head it needs to come out.

So you write down everything. It would be names, feelings, things you need to do. Things you’ve been putting off. EVERYTHING.

Once the 15 minutes is up you have two options:

1) leave the brain dump and come back to it later (in the evening/next day/next week)

2) create FOUR lists:
Must prioritise (e.g. Doctors appointments, Gas heater servicing, updating contact details with Schools, insurance renewals etc)
Things that must be done within a set timeframe (I usually give myself 4-6 weeks for this depending on how many things are on the list). This could be things like getting quotes for a gardening job, having winter things dry cleaned for storage etc. Things that need doing but if they are delayed they won’t have huge consiquences.
Things that can go on your Master To Do List (see article here on this List).
EMOTIONAL/Personal: feelings/conversations that need to be had etc all go on this list.

3) Now go through these lists. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you really need to do all these tasks yourself?
Can you delegate them?
Have you taken on more than you can cope with (note this down and don’t repeat this to just torture your soul).
Which tasks can you do the quickest to get your progress flowing.

Remove anything from the lists that you delegate out or shouldn’t really be on there. Be ruthless baby. Time is money.

3) Now you have to work through these lists. Be realistic with time frames. If you don’t give yourself time frames that are manageable you are setting yourself up for failure. Don’t torture yourself.

4) Come back to the lists when you are organising your week to see which tasks can be completed.

5) Repeat the brain dump as and when required. Treat this as a regular exercise that helps with your brain decluttering. Your lists may never be empty but this helps put things into perspective.

Have you tried Brain Dumping? How did you find it? Is it something you do on a regular basis to keep life organised? Share your pearls of wisdom below.

 

Love,

 

Alliyah