Category: Family

Gratitude for Life
Alliyah Dawud
March 4, 2019

Note: this article was written on the day my daughter was discharged. It is being published after.

I am writing this is a state of pure thankfulness. Today my 5 year old has been given the all clear from Hospital.

My youngest was born with a Heart Murmur. I knew before she was born that she had a Heart defect and it was a dark dark time in my life. At the time my marriage was ending and I felt alone. The darkness lead to a lot of self discovery so even though it wasn’t the most memorable time of my life I am grateful for what I felt and what it led to.

Still I soldiered on as Mamas do and when Hiffy was born she looked normal. Smelt normal. Acted normal. I just assumed the Heart thing would pan out. I was grateful for having what looked and felt like a healthy baby. She opened her eyes and I’ve got to say it was love at first sight. I guess at the time I didn’t know this little person would become my doppelganger but I felt it was even more important to me to protect her and give her the best of everything. She is perfect. And always will be.

For a lot of babies a hole in the Heart ‘fixes’ itself. The human body is a bloody amazing thing! However in some cases human intervention is needed via an operation.

I was given the news that Hiffy would need surgery as she neared her first Birthday. It was a hard piece of truth of hear. Sadly my daughters specialist passed away from a Heart problem which resulted in her Heart Surgery (Key hole surgery) being delayed and transferred to another Hospital.

In October 2014 my daughter was operated on in one of the best Hospitals in the world; Birmingham Children’s Hospital. Maybe it’s the fact it’s my hometown but I felt there was no better place for my little one to be treated.

Once the procedure was done we were free to return home. We went in on the morning of the operation and discharged the same day.

That’s how awesome modern day medicine and science is. We’re blessed. The NHS is an awesome organisation. We focus on their bad side but what about the GOOD they achieve? What about the staff that does more than their job calls for? What about those midwives that stay on after their shifts to deliver a baby because they’ve bonded with the Mama?

The Cardiac Specialist told me that Hiffy would be no different to any other child so I shouldn’t treat her any different to her sibling.

That was back in 2014. Recently I received a letter asking for Hiffy to attend a clinic for a check up. Firstly four years in a huge amount of time. Secondly Hiffy understands she was born with a ‘dodgy ticker’. Explaining to her we were attending a check up freaked her out.

On the day of the check up we went about business in the normal way. I must have lost a few nights sleep wondering about the ‘what if’ but then remembered that at each and every step of Hiffys life I’ve been eternally grateful for everything. Her improving health. Her milestones. Her epic personality. Her sparkling smile. Her memorising eyes. Her quirky ways. I am eternally grateful for it all. And when you are in a state of gratitude you ATTRACT more to be grateful for.

When we attended the appointment I must admit I just painted on a brave face because the last thing you want a 5 year old to detect is you are slightly fearful of what the Specialist might say.

The staff were simply awesome with Hiffy. They offered to change the DVD for her (after she mentioned she hadn’t watched Peppa in a long time because she’s FIVE) and the Specialist (who just so happened to be from the great Birmingham Children’s Hospital) complimented Hiffy on her good behaviour and manners.

The tests instantly showed what I knew deep down was the truth: Hiffy has a strong and healthy Heart. Her ticker has mended to the best of it’s ability. It’s supporting her to be the awesome spirit that she is.

And after her tests the Specialist gave me the news that he was discharging Hiffy from the Cardiac department. He said she’s just like anyone else who was born with no problem. He reassured me that if I ever felt something was wrong their doors were open; but as it stood Hiffy is happy, healthy and just like the normal five year old. He also said I could treat her like a normal kid.

Isn’t that what I’ve been doing for the past 5 years?

And with the information Hiffy asked if she could be rewarded with a BIG chocolate for her good behaviour and the fact her ticker is fixed. Not today kiddo but yeah; Mama can stretch to giving you a BIG bar of chocolate tomorrow; because my gratitude for you as my child is never ending Hiffy.

I can now sleep easy knowing Hiffy is well, I didn’t do anything wrong for her to be born with a Heart defect and that the NHS are an awesome organisation that need to be given more credit.

Gratitude is attitude; and my attitude is I’m thankful eternally for my blessing that is my pint sized doppelganger.

Get out into the fresh air. A mini review of Victoria Park (Stafford)
Alliyah Dawud
March 2, 2019

There’s a few hidden gems across the West Midlands and one of them is in my opinion Victoria Park in Stafford. This beautiful award winning Park can be found in the heart of Stafford (opposite the Train Station) on the banks of the River Sow. The Park has received lottery Heritage funding and is currently undergoing some magnificent restoration to a bygone era.

And as the weather warms up I want to encourage you all to get out more, get more fresh air and reap the benefits of exercise. Not to mention children need sunshine, fresh air and a space to let off steam. What better place than a Park?

We are currently located in Stoke-on-Trent which is a short drive to the Park but to make this into an adventure we go by Train…because the Park is literally opposite the Park and the girls think we’re travelling far and wide (When it’s like 15 minutes away). Plus when you use the Train there’s no need to find Parking; which is awesome.

I love Parks; they are the perfect venue for play dates or inviting the whole group to have a Picnic, play some games and generally accommodate a large brood without worrying about space.

Victoria Park has a lot to offer. It’s easy to spend hours in this Park. We travelled by Train (all a part of the adventure). The Park first opened it’s gates in 1908 making it one of the oldest around (that is still in full use).

The Park boasts some great floral displays around the Park making it very picturesque The River Sow snakes through the Park providing many banks to sit down and relax on. As with any water you do need to watch little ones; and ensure they understand the dangers. The well maintained grounds provide many places to have a picnic around the park (we sat next to the River and nope it did not stink even in the height of summer).

If you forget to pack a picnic or snacks there’s plenty of shops nearby (including coffee shops) so you won’t struggle too much to find reasonable priced food or drinks.

There’s a huge play area for children of various ages to enjoy. There’s swings, group swings, trampolines, toddler play area, roundabouts, huge climbing frames….everything is well kept and in pristine condition. Both girls loved it.

And there’s a huge sand play area that the youngest in particular loves (just remember to pack some buckets and spades!).

The Park has toilets on site too which is a blessing especially for anyone with youngest children. There’s also an ice-cream van on site which helps in the heat.

For the hotter months there’s a brilliant Splash Pad for children to enjoy (it’s worth packing swimming costumes for this or at least a spare t-shirt to change little ones into if they get too wet).

The Park can get busy but that adds to the atmosphere. We ran into a Grandparent that used to visit with her Granddad. She’d moved away when she got married but her son relocated due to work and she was reliving her childhood through her grand babies.

We spent approximately 4 hours at the Park which is unbelievable as my youngest gets bored very quickly. It’s a stunning Park and I recommend it for families, couples, elderly….everyone! This is such a beautiful Park it would be nice to visit in each season to view the changes.

My top tips:

Pack a picnic and picnic blankets as it would be a shame to miss the opportunity to not eat in this glorious Park
Pack SPF and swimming costumes (or spare clothes) for the Splash Pad.

Don’t forget a towel to dry off!

Don’t forget some food for the ducks.

Talcum powder will help get sand off children’s skin so it’s worth taking a small bottle if you have one.

Buckets and spades (labeled with your little ones name) would be useful if your little one like playing with sand.

Don’t forget wet wipes. Always useful especially where there’s ice-cream…

And lastly, take a stroll along the River…whilst eating an ice-cream.

Celebrating Chinese New Year at Biddulph Grange Garden.
Alliyah Dawud
February 25, 2019

We love Biddulph Grange Garden and as National Trust members we love to visit venues near to our home.

We hope you enjoy our gallery of fun.

We spent time doing the Zodiac trail, arts and crafts and enjoying the fresh air.

Why I celebrate Valentine’s Day (as a Muslim Mama).
Alliyah Dawud
February 11, 2019

Admit it; if you are a Muslim reading this you are likely to be judging me for straying from my Islamic teachings. If you are not Muslim then you will be intrigued to why this is a big deal. Either way you will be curious.

And that’s fine.

You see around the first week of January of the year shops go from OTT Santa’s grotto to OTT Cupids joint. Everything goes red and pink. It’s all about love. Love. Love. Cards for your boyfriend, girlfriend, wifey, husband, mistress….the last one shocked you right. But you get the picture. It’s celebrating a relationship; a union.

In my opinion it’s not celebrating love or an unbreakable bond. Because the way I celebrate it is exactly that. Celebrating the bond that is undeniably stronger than many many marriages out there: a parent and their child.

A few years ago I saw a video on social media where the Father was getting upset over the fact both his sons were Mamas boys. He went as far as saying when he had a daughter she’d be his Princess and they’d be hitting the high road. The passion he had for that unique, strong natural bond was simply awesome. And that got me thinking.

If Valentines is all about hearts then why is a parents strongest love link not celebrated more?

I mean I’m not saying your marriage or relationship is weak guys but let’s be honest.

The chances are the first time you looked at your child you swore you’d kill anyone that hurt then.

Looking at your partner brings out a different form of loyalty; and if they are the Father of your child then the bond is intensified by DNA (as long as the relationship is actually in working order).

But both bring out different reactions, emotions and love in us.

So I have been celebrating Valentines Day with my children.

I buy them cards, chocolates, small gifts and focus on LOVE.

They need to know I love them. Unconditionally. And whilst everyone is going crazy over red and pink and large overpriced bouquets I want the girls to understand they are loved; and just because someone of the opposite sex hasn’t given them a card it doesn’t mean anything. Because being popular means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Having an unlimited supply of love does.

To my Muslim readers reading this and saying that I am giving into the Western Media and bowing down to commercialism that’s your opinion. That doesn’t make you right or wrong. My own intent is my own.

So guys when you are looking for a card for your spouse etc why not send a card to your friend, your parents, and your children. Spread the love; be the love. Shine bright.

My top ways of keeping children busy whilst Traveling
Alliyah Dawud
February 4, 2019

My best friends live around 3.5 hours away from me by train. We change trains a few times (usually 3 times each way) to get to our destinations and the journey can be tiresome (and boring for the girls) so I try to keep them as busy as possible on the journey. Here are my TOP ways.

Important stuff to NOTE:

Travel Sickness is REAL
factor in travel sickness guys. We always wear anti sickness bands and try to sit near the toilets ‘just in case’. We also carry extra bags in case of sickness too.
You can pick up anti sickness bands for around £3.50 per pair on eBay. Worth their weight in gold; in GOLD.

Book in advance if you CAN:
It saves mad rushes in the morning. I prefer to buy my tickets in advance and I usually pick them up in advance too. I don’t like using an App if I’m travelling the girls as I don’t want tears (of my own) if I lose internet connection or something else.

Wifi on some trains is FREE. On others they will charge you. I’ve yet to meet a stable Wifi connection that was fast and signals often ‘drop’ on trains so I do not rely on any form of entertainment that is linked to that to save myself the headache of having the girls complain about ‘it not working’.

Hydration!
Oh and don’t forget water to remain hydrated. In hot weather I actually freeze disposable bottles with water in which helps keep water cool. If you do this wrap them in a teatowel before placing them in your bag.
I prefer disposable bottles for travel as it’s one less thing to worry about (e.g. I don’t want tears from a favourite bottle being left of the train).

But I don’t need the TOILET:
We’ve all heard this haven’t we? I get the girls to take a tinkle in each station we stop at. We usually find our platform first and then go to the bathroom.

How I keep my sanity on train rides…

Firstly I don’t allow the use of tablets. The internet cost on Virgin trains is high and if you are streaming videos its slow and well; expensive. So I encourage screen-free activities.

I break down activities depending on how long that ‘leg’ of the journey is.

To make the journey fun we pack a Breakfast picnic. That’s correct guys a picnic for breakfast. Bare in mind the first train we board is usually around 7AM.

Breakfast Picnic on the Train (it’s a part of the adventure)

I prepare breakfast wraps (egg, spinach, cheese etc), sausages and hash browns the night before. I then warm them up in the morning and wrap them in foil and pack them up in the morning. We also take ketchup sachets and juice boxes to make life easier. Wet wipes help to clean fingers (and the table) post breakfast too.
I also pack some cereal bars too (which we usually avoid because of the high sugar. They do however make a convienent snack on trains).

Two of their favourite Barbies can come along for the ride….
The girls pack two of their favourites Barbie dolls EACH minus any small accessories to avoid tears when things get lost. The girls understand the rule and it’s easier all around when there’s minimal toys to worry about.

Music….
My girls really are their Mothers daughters and love music. I have created around a 2 hour playlist of their favourite songs (Bieber, Taylor, Little Mix etc) and have it on an old fashioned Mp3 player. I also have a headphone splitter I connect to it to save tears on whose ‘go it is’. The girls then have the option to listen to a few songs. I purchase cheap headphones for the journey (from Poundland in the UK) so if they do get lost it’s no big deal.

Snacks….
Food and drink on trains costs a lot…I mean I found the prices on Ryan Air to be reasonable but Virgin Trains when you are travelling with kids?! We calculate how long we’ll be on the train and pack around one snack per half an hour. Snacks can include small chocolate bars, crisps, fruit, crackers etc.
I also pack a lunch style box with olives, cheese cubes and crackers for them to graze on (which helps to keep sugar intake in moderation).
I also pack a few extra bits ‘just in case’.
TIP: places like Tesco do ‘long life’ packed croissants. They work out well for journeys too.

Activity/Colouring books
I generally pack 2 each of these for the girls (And they are usually new so it’s like a gift). I get a set of pencils from poundland (so if they do get lost again no tears). These are great for children who need a bit of variety.

Travel board games (which are either magnetic or have no parts to lose e.g. Guess who).
My girls love board games (so do I!) so this is one of our favourite ways to keep the girls entertained for at least half an hour. We pack travel Guess Who and a 4 in 1 magnetic draughts/ludo/chess/snakes and ladders too.
You can pick these up on Amazon for around £5.00 each (the magnetic board game that’s a 4 in 1 is a REAL bargain even if you only play ludo and snakes and ladders).

And that’s about it…what do you do to keep children busy while you travel? Drop your tips below.